Say “please” and “thank you.” Serve the plate on the left, remove it from the right. Keep your elbows off the table. There are some rules of etiquette that are instilled from a young age. Others, though, remain a bit hazy.

Meanwhile, Chris J. Rock, a professional etiquette and protocol consultant, has a firm grasp on how to act in every social and business setting. “I was born in a country [Cyprus] where respect is the norm, not the exception,” she explains. “I have a passion for being kind and generous.”

Rock’s business offers on- and off-site seminars, and provides training in corporate and dining etiquette, international protocol, and various youth programs. Building on her experiences with her parents and grandparents, Rock went on to study at the Protocol School of Washington in Washington, D.C. “It was a win-win; I merged my upbringing with the offerings that the school had,” she says.

Though etiquette and protocol seem stiff to many, Rock explains that it’s a way of life. She uses two premises as a way to describe her beliefs: First, civility is “really just knowing what to do in every setting, because if you know then you will be free to be your best in every situation.” Second, she says, is to follow the golden rule — treat others as you would want to be treated.

I sat down with Rock recently at the Piedmont Club, where she greeted me with a firm handshake and then graciously poured me a glass of water. Safe to say, she’s got all the right answers to take the stress out of minding your Ps and Qs this season.

Q. What are some guidelines for office gift-giving, especially in the tight economy?
A. It is so important to do your homework before you give a gift. The important thing to remember is that the gift is about the receiver, not about us. If you want to purchase a gift for your boss, you might want to go in with other co-workers. Ask, “what do they like — golf, tennis, music?” Books are an excellent gift. Stay away from clothes, and also expensive gifts, which are looked upon as trying to gain support. You don’t want your gift to be misunderstood. Socially, it is always appropriate to take a gift to an event. One nice thing is to send flowers before you arrive. Don’t expect the flowers to be displayed, though. The same with wine — don’t expect it to be served, because your host will already be prepared.

Q. When should thank-you notes be written?
A. Notes should be sent 24 to 48 hours after you are given a gift or attend an event. You will make a wonderful impression, especially if it is handwritten. Don’t make it too wordy, but acknowledge the event and the gift.

Q. How should you handle gifts, cards, or greetings if you do not know someone’s religious affiliation?
A. Again, you must do your homework. If someone has a Jewish background, it would be nice to acknowledge that to the recipient. Saying “Happy Holidays,” you can never go wrong. But, if you know someone celebrates Christmas, say “Merry Christmas.” If you know, it’s nice to hear that specifically.

Q. Do you have any etiquette pointers for attending the office holiday party?
A. Just because it is a party, it is not a license to excessively drink or to be excessively noisy. Having one drink for the whole night is a great idea. It’s better to under-drink than to lose control of your tongue. Remember — you must be civil wherever you are. Civility is not left at the door when you are at a party.

Q. What are important things to remember if you are hosting an event?
A. Horace always said, “A host is like a general: Calamities often reveal his genius.” You must be in control of your event so that you can take care of anything that comes up. Make sure the flow is easy. When you send invitations out, be precise about the place, the reason for the party, the time, and the attire. Let nothing be questioned by the attendees. Make sure you greet your guests, introduce them to others, and make them comfortable so they have a good time.

For more information, go to chrisjrock.com